Canning jokes

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.

What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school?

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers.

Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?

Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.

What do you call a school that can talk?

A school with a face!

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.