If someone licks your elbow... you wont feel it if you put your ear up to someone's leg you can hear them say "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
A fat homeless person begged me for food so I said “I can see your dinner you had plenty”
What’s the difference between weed and pussy If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weeds good
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver driver have in common? Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men Say can you get straight to the point
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed Where are the kids?
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in Bed I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed Will there be seconds
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed Thanks for coming
Roses are red violets are blue Get over here So I can fuck you
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of aids
How can you tell your best friend is gay His meat taste like shit
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable? Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What do you call a banana that can dance? CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
