What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What do you call a banana that can dance? CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
