Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish
I used to date this girl only to find out she’s guy. I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patient to sleep, so I unplug them.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time getting a gold medal in the special Olympics?
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Na don't be mean to fat people oh wait never mind they can handle the weight
What is the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler
Usain bolt can finish a race
Im so good at sleeping, i can do it with my eyes closed.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Holà soy Dora!
Can you help me find the 2 fuck I'm supposed to give?!
Theres only 3 types of people the ones who can count and the ones that cant
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs
person with no arms:even tho I have no arms I can do anything you guys can
me:if your happy and you know it clap your hands👏👏if your happy and you know it clap your hands👏👏
person with no arms:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A CRACK-UP
What does Cangaball do after eating it’s vegetables Go on eBay to see how much He can sell the Wheelchair for
