How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Can Jokes
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
