What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette? Your camera.
What would an orphan call a family picture, a self ie
wanna see a joke open the front facing camera
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to CAPTURE the RAP STAR
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child...thanks to that people really believe my fake smiles! :3
Why do people say cheese in a camera? because they were using the computer
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up. It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
You no your ugly when you git handed the cameras every time your frind's have a group picture.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a zoom meeting Do you want the cameras on or off?
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
bully: your a loser and fat me: shut up the camera thought you were a house
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras but then I heard popping behind me
Wanna see an mistake go on camera and take an pic of you
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
