Camera Jokes

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

😅

A black and white photo shows a large group of men gathered around a giant old-fashioned camera. Text on the image says: "Making of the world's first camera". A comment below from "David" says: "Which camera took the picture of world's first camera?"

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

Help me....