Call

Call Jokes

Child Support

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.

Opposition

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

Salad

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

Surgeon

What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?

A plastic surgeon. 😷

Chip

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

Woman

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

Exam

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

Contract

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

Game

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]