Call jokes
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
What do you call a feminist? A Karen.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔