Call jokes
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.