Call jokes

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?

Why is basketball called basketball?

Because you play with a basket.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.

Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.

What do you call the whole population turning into emos?

The Great Depression.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?

LGBBQ.

Call me an elevator, because I let people down.

What do you call a scared cow?

A COW-ard.

You call it turds.

I call it the forbidden chocolate.

What do you call a genderless child?

It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.