Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
What flavour do you buy an orphan? Self raising
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What flour do you buy a orphan Self raising flour
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
