Buy jokes
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
A down-on-his-luck Newfoundlander takes a job in Toronto. He hates every minute of it. The housing is overpriced, the traffic a bottleneck. Frustrated, he starts saving every penny until he can buy a car to go home to the outport.
Eventually someone takes pity on him and offers to sell him a car with no reverse for fifty bucks.
"I takes it!" the Newfie replies, "because I don't intends on coming back anyway."