But jokes
My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Memes
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They wanted pepperoni, but got plane instead.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.