But jokes

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

What do you call a sad Doge?

What?

Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.