But jokes

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“What, years? Months?!”

“Nine...”

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

Sorry but, no one asked.

I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.