But jokes

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

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    • You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

    What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

    I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

    Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

    But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

    The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

    The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

    You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

    Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

    But at least lemonade came out!

    I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

    Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!

    This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

    You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?

    The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

    Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

    I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

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    • A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.