But jokes

Curiosity killed the cat.

But for a while, I was a suspect.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?

A dumpling.

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.