But jokes

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

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    • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!

    Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣

    Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

    When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

    I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

    But no pun in ten did.

    What do you call skeletons having sex?

    When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

    SPOILER ALERT...

    I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

    JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.

    Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!

    It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.

    One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

    So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

    I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

    People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

    His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

    His boss told him: "You suck."

    And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

    His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

    XD

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    • Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

    It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

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