Bus jokes
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.