Bus jokes
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
Thatâs what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why couldnât Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.