Bureaucracy jokes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
