Bureaucracy jokes

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

What do the initials FEMA stand for?

Federal Erection Management Agency.

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.