Bureaucracy jokes

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

What do the initials FEMA stand for?

Federal Erection Management Agency.

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.

Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.

Can I get a building license?

It's the end of the world!

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.