Bullet jokes
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
Bullets.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.