Bullet jokes
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Shoot.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.