Bullet jokes
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Shoot.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
When one just isn't enough
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
A B C D E F GUN.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”