Bullet jokes
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Shoot.
A B C D E F GUN.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Memes
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.