Bullet jokes
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Bullets.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.