Bullet jokes
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!