Bringing jokes
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because they were lost in the BEATS.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?
Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."