Bringing jokes
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because they were lost in the BEATS.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?
Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."