Bringing jokes

My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

Because they were lost in the BEATS.

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?

Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he heard the bars were high.

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?

In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!

Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?

To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?

Because there’s a bartender in there.

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.

One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.

The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"

Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.

The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.

In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.