Brain jokes

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

A quad rasher ran him over.

Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."

I had amnesia once... maybe twice.

God, I miss Stephen Hawking.

He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

I like tacos more than you like tacos.

Who likes more tacos?

Mee! said the taco.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

I'm autistic.

What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.