Undead jokes
The walking dead.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
How do you know a vampire's sick? If he's coffin (coughing?)
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!