My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least)
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
I had a boyfriend once, he broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive," guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
why did the emo break up with her boyfriend
he didnt wanna hang out.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮💨
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Why did my boyfriend leaves me ? Because he's gay. But why did he come back to me ?
Because im actually a guy :-)
Knock knock, who's their? Europe, Europe who? No i'm not
If your boyfriends doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? A. Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen hawking.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do and finally the friend said why don't you just use me. The boyfriend said why did i not think of using the third wheel.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone
Ex Boyfriend: how and why?
Girlfriend: Because your about to die
I have a girlfriend.
