This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what’s up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON’T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how’s that?
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone? Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!) Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama’s boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The worlds most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know thats a weird and stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do and finally the friend said why don’t you just use me. The boyfriend said why did i not think of using the third wheel.
If your boyfriends doesn’t get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend…🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
I had a boyfriend once, he broke up with me because he “wanted to be more alive,” guess it didn’t work when he went to my basement.
babe it’s over
AFTER ALL I DONE FOR YOU WOW I CHEATED ON YOU WITH YOUR SISTER ANYWAY
I meant the movie…
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
why was Helen kellers belly button bruised? her boyfriend was blind too.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
I guess age is just a number but in your boyfriends case a personal preference.
my sister was hitting on my boyfriend im 11 shes 9 she said go f.ck ur self so i said : “ok thanks for the idea”
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You’re not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter." So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!" And then she died.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious Him: How do you break things Me: you break things up Him: okay Me: is everything okay Him: were a twig. We’re breaking up
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?
Mom: no that’s impossible
Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right
Mom: no no please don’t tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you
Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^
how many times do you nut? it depends how hard you do it.