my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:
i got it from her when i was born
Yo mama so fat that she was born on 3rd,4th and 5th of the March.
I bet when you were born the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
My girlfriend is born at 29 February, so does that mean she is 2 years old🤔
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
Why are Toads born with balls on their body?????
Because they want more attention 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when got given birth too
You’re so fat, that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium
i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out
A girl walks in the room she asks her my why's my name flower her mom said when you were born a flower fell on your head brick walks in the room jasvidnqzkdvsosbd
your mama so fat that when you were born yo mama gave yu carpet birn
when you were born your mom said you were out of bounds so you went flying out of the hospital
1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting
10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya
12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
I DONT CARE IF I GOT BEAT THE FIRST DAY U WERE BORN YO MOMMA ASK FOR A RECIEPT
What day are twins born the most Toos-day
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
