Born jokes

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.