Body jokes
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.
Mine never stops.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
Balls in your jaws.
I saw my sister sucking a big toe.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.