After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
Jeffy: I need a new butt, my old one has a crack in it.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys name is Jack. The other is Peter Peter: "Hi Jack" Flight Attendant: "Your going to high jack the plane?!?! Jack: "No my name is Ja-" Flight Attendant: "Every body stay calm! These two men are going to high jack the plane!" Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Boner.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
READ THIS AND YOUR GAY
DEPRESSION HAS BEEN ENTERED INTO YOURE BODY
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and the begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down the the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, loling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more. When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying,” Linda your just as amazing at fucking at your sister.”
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
