Body jokes

What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

Why do midgets giggle when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Yo mama's ass is maddddd crusty!

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!

What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)

Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Back bent.

Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.

Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!