Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Penis.
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
