Body

Body jokes

Girl

7 views ·

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Coz she had no arms, bants!

Man

6 views ·

A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.

"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.

"What is it?" The doctor asks.

"I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.

". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

Double Standard

2111 views ·

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Friend

1 view ·

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

Oyster

258 views ·

What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?

Realizing you only put in 4.

  • 2
  • Hand

    41 views ·

    Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

    Wanking.