Body jokes
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Jacob has a small penis.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.