Blind Jokes

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

Bird Box.

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?

The dog lead went slack.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

A blind person walks into a bar.

Because they can’t see where they are going.

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

This for you roman y e e e nt

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.