Blind jokes

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

A blind person walks into a bar.

Because they can’t see where they are going.

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

This for you roman y e e e nt

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?

Cancer.

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.

I don't have any now.

Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.

This is really mean...

A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."