Blind jokes
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!