Blind jokes
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
A blind guy walks into a bar.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.