Birthday jokes

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.

Why did the guy's birthday party stink?

Because he was turning farty!

What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?

Depends how hard they blow out the candles.

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

Why is September 11th the best birthday?

Everyone remembers it! :)

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?

A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.