Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said "I wanna watch"
When ur born on 4/20/69
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays Birthday girl: Oh wow! Parent: Anyone missing? Birthday girl: Your parents
i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"
What did John say to little timmy! Happy Disable day
What do Jesus and I have in common? No one knows my real bday either
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday", then they want to give you a spanking.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.
What did Stephen Hawkings get for his BDay, Chocolate arm.
a dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and he replied... hows about a urinal cake?!!
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
A father came to his daughters 18th birthday he finally came
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
babe im breaking up with you. y? im turning 18 tomorrow
When you get suspended from school For giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
(on thirteenth birthday) Girl: Ma, why did papa leave? Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
