My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
