Bird jokes
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
What can fly?
Bird.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.