What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Bird Jokes
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
I like penguins.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
