Bird jokes
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Q: What do you call a magic owl?
A: HOOdini
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!