Bigness jokes

My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

Why did the rapper become a banker?

Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"

Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!

Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"

Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"

I luv sucking on big balls, I'm gay af.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,

"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"

She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.

And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

The Earth used to be flat until they buried yo mama.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.