Being jokes
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
I did a good job of being home from school.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.