Being jokes
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.