Being jokes
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Myself.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"