Being jokes
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?
Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.