Being jokes
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Memes
Fair point.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.