Being jokes

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

Being the first to move in chess.

It’s a white privilege.

An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,

It's great being a sniper.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.

Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.