Being jokes

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.

Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.

That being said I wish he hadn't!

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.

She is being born in 2 months.

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

Imagine being emo.

Couldn't be me.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?

www.VincentVanGoghAway.com

There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"