Being jokes

Seagull

Anonymous · 8 years ago

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

President

Shower thoughts · 2 years ago

Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.

Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.

Missing child

The Special · 7 years ago

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

Movie

Kevin Spacey's well behaved twin brother · 3 years ago

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Suicide

Anonymous · 8 years ago

Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.

Name

Shower thoughts · 2 years ago

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Candice

Anonymous · 3 years ago

SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...

Candice everyone: Candice?

Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!

Yo mama

Anonymous · 9 years ago

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Orphan

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

Rose

Morbidly · 7 years ago

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Twin Towers

Anonymous · 3 years ago

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

Depression

Anonymous · 4 years ago

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.

Friend

USSR Soldier · 7 years ago

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked, "Where are you going?"

He said, "Camp Bin Laden."

I asked, "What do they do there?"

He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."

I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"

He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."

Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!

1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man