Being jokes

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.

Being the first to move in chess.

It’s a white privilege.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.

You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!