Being jokes
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.